OK.
Stop with the e-mails already.
It's nice to be missed. And to those who asked, no, I'm not
sick, nor has my computer stopped functioning (although it is
old). I just knew that there wouldn't be another new show
until the new year, so I figured that here was no rush.
Then I saw that Okiepitbull was allowed to put up a column, so I
figured that the COMPOUND webmaster must be getting desperate and
decided to contribute. After all, what would it hurt?
For those of you who aren't long-time readers, this column is the
one that most of the stars look forward to the most. The
annual Year-End column, where I reveal my COMPOUND Top 10 and also
my picks for the Year-End Awards. You remember those awards,
the ones where I was voted to be a better manager than Sensei Bolo
or Boss Campbell? Yeah, I remember those too. And I'll
be bringing that point up as much as I can over the next year.
So, what are we waiting for? Let's get that Top 10 out of
the way:
#10: Jesus Rodriguez. Truth be told, he probably
should be ranked higher, but he allowed himself to be manipulated
by his manager Ray
Martinez. Ray cares about no one but himself and when
he got control of the company and pulled the biggest bunch of
shenanigans ever to make Jesus the COMPOUND Champion, I thought
maybe it would lead to some improvement on the part of the Mexican
superstar. Instead, the only thing to increase was his
cholesterol intake and blood pressure as Jesus spent week after
week sitting at ringside, eating nachos and drinking cervesas
while Ray did whatever he wanted and no one could stop him.
Now, Jesus is 1/2 of the COMPOUND Tag
Team Champions and Ray is still there. I think Jesus
could move higher in this ranking if he just got rid of Ray.
But I think everything from Global Warming to the economy would
improve if Ray were eliminated from this planet, so perhaps I'm a
little biased.
#9: The Canadian Luchadore. Here's a guy who once was a
complete loser. I mentioned on several occasions that the
last time he was a credible threat was 2003 when he beat Justin
Lee for several months. Then the next 5 years happened and
Luchie went no where. I even dubbed the
"Lose-a-dork" in this column because when he appeared,
it was pretty much a guarantee that his opponent(s) would be
losing. Somehow, the Shadow of Death fixed all that.
He rehabilitated Luchie, paired him with his fellow Canadian, the
Canadian Red Devil and the reunited New Canada went on to become
2-time COMPOUND Tag Team Champions. They should still be
considered a threat for that belt, but I think that Luchie should
put his focus on the Oklahoma X Division Title. Being a tag
team champions is a great accomplishment, but somehow wrestlers
never seem legit until they get a singles belt. And after 5
years in this business, you're a bit overdue.
#7 & 8: The Saints of Twilight. Losing those masks
may have been the best thing to ever happen to them. The
refocused. They are willing to take risks. Their
win-loss records improved for the first time since losing the tag
team titles. And I still insist that they stay in tag
team competition. Sure, they could try to use their twin
status to go the singles route and get an illegal advantage.
And I've seen other twin tag
teams do that. But the Saints don't seem able to pull
that off as well. Maybe they're not fast enough. Maybe
they just don't have it in them. I don't know. They
certainly are being led well by SOD. I think sometime next
year, they will reclaim the COMPOUND Tag Team Titles. Oh,
and for those of you who are like me and HATE when there are ties
in Top 10 lists, I would list Ignition at #7 & Reckless at #8.
Ignition has more technical moves.
#6: Justin Lee. Justin spent the first month of this
year out recovering from an injury, then returned to reclaim the
prize that he believes is truly his: the Oklahoma X Division
Title. He got it...eventually. But he had to make his
way through guys like C. B. C. (the most surprising X Division
Champion ever. And probably the most undeserving), Shane
Morbid (another guy who is not the epitome of the X Division, even
though he's held X belts in 3 federations) and Tim Rockwell (the
best X Division wrestler in the federation today.) before getting
that title. He should still be champion, but Senseless Hobo
decided that the Greatest Hobo looked too fat walking out with his
distended stoumach (probably from eating too much rice) and needed
something to cover that, so he interfered with his big stick and
cost Justin the X Title. Justin hasn't put his focus on
regaining that belt as he's trying to help his friend El Super
Colibri win the Tag Team Titles from Legion 13. Justin
hasn't had a lot of long term success with tag team wrestling, but
maybe this will be different. Meanwhile, maybe the Greatest
Hobo can take that stick and shove it!
#5: The Canadian Red Devil. Here's a guy who is super
popular (he has to be. He's a devil who gets cheered in a
church. How else would you explain it?). He's a great
wrestler. He has heart, drive and ability. So why
isn't he Heavyweight Champion? Well, obviously, for a decent
portion of this year, he was concentrating on the tag team titles.
And that's fine. But a guy like the Devil needs a
Heavyweight Title to add to his legacy. He's held them in
another fed in Oklahoma.
And now he has put his focus on the COMPOUND Heavyweight Title.
Or at least on former champion Pork Chop. There seems to be
an issue between these two stars and I think that issue is the
COMPOUND Title. Well, I'll say to both men that this is not
the way to solve that problem. I mean, at this point, it's
not like either of you are going to beat the champion. But I
don't think you should be killing each other trying to do so.
Maybe if you were to wrangle a Triple
Threat Match where one of you could wear the champion down
and then the other could try to pin him. It'd still be a
futile gesture, but at least it would mean something. Y'know,
Devil, now that I think about it, maybe you should go work with
Luchie and challenge for the X Division Title. It'd be a lot
safer.
#4: Romero Contreras. He told me he didn't want to be
ranked in this, but I just can't do it. It's not right to
take someone who was so influential in Tulsa and leave him off the
list just because he was forced to retire back in August. I
mean, Justin missed the first month of the year and I still put
him on it. Romero deserves this too. His high
profile-matches drew more people to COMPOUND than any other
wrestler (with the possibility of Anthony Jackson, who was in
those high profile matches with him). He didn't have
to wrestle much in order to entertain (sort of like another star
many of us remember from the '80s who wore red & yellow).
And he gave me a chance to fulfill a dream of mine. You
might only be #4 in the charts, but you'll be #1 in the hearts of
many of the fans, Romero.
#3: El Super Colibri. The only person who can rival
Romero for sheer popularity. Colibri is wildly popular with
everyone. And he just gets better and better in the ring.
While I still think he didn't hold up his end of Team Super
Terrific, he did go on to beat his former partner and win his
first title ever (what a shame he only held that belt a month
before losing it back to Tim Rockwell, he said sarcastically).
Now, Colibri has his eyes set on the tag team titles with Justin
Lee. They're the most popular duo in COMPOUND today and I
think it's only a matter of time before they have that gold around
their waists. While I don't see Colibri as being Heavyweight
Champion anytime in his career, I'm sure that a lot of people said
that about Rey Misterio, Jr. And Colibri has patterned
himself after Rey on many other levels. What about this one?
#2: Tim Rockwell. I know, I know. Most of you expected
him to once again be #1. And I'm sure if he had been, you
all would have screamed "bias" or talked about my "mancrush"
on Stevie Caballero. Well, what now? Sorry, but
Stevie didn't deserve it this year. He came close though.
Real close, though. He won the Oklahoma X Division title 2
times. He formed an alliance with "The
Annihilator" Draven Cross. He even earned a shot at the
COMPOUND Title when Anthony Jackson was champion. But he
also lost to Justin Lee and was forced to leave COMPOUND for a
month. And right now, he's having a bit of a time dealing
with that moronic hillbilly Jake McCoy. So he slips to #2.
But just wait until next year. I have confidence that he
will be back in the #1 spot where he belongs.
And that leaves......
#1: Shane Morbid. Last year, he was voted the Most
Improved wrestler of the year in the Oklafan.com
Year End Polls. And I think he took that seriously. He
started living up to it. He won the Oklahoma X Division
Title twice. He won the COMPOUND Tag Team Titles with
Cast-Iron Cothern. But most importantly, he upped his game
in the ring. And the fans started to respect it. He
didn't change his attitude. He didn't' change his in-ring
style. He just kept being Shane Morbid. And the fans
realised that they liked it. Shane is a great wrestler.
He's quick. He's precise. He deserves to be
Heavyweight Champion. And maybe one day, when Draven gets
tired of mowing over the competition and retires, vacating the
title, Shane will have a chance at it. Until then, Shane can
continue to destroy whoever is put in front of him and the
COMPOUND fans can rest assured that their hero will just get
better and better.
And, finally, the Year-End Awards. I always give out my own
awards because, well, sometimes the fans just don't get it.
I mean, really, voting Pork Chop the wrestler of the Year?
Nothing against Pork Chop, but do you see him on that list above?
No. You know why? Because he didn't wrestle for the
summer!! And yet, the fans still believed he deserved to be
there. So anyway, here are the awards the way I would have
given them out:
Newcomer: Dutch Hagen
Most Improved: Justin Lee
Most Popular: El Super Colibri
Most Hated: Jesus Rodriguez
Manager of the Year: Stevie Caballero (who has now guided
men to all 3 COMPOUND Titles. Beat that, Boss or Sensei.
Oh wait, you can't even BEAT ME!!! BWAHAHHAAHAHAHA!!)
Feud of the Year: Justin Lee vs. Tim Rockwell
Match of the Year: The Mexican Combo Platter vs. The
Hawaiian Shirt Mafia (TLC/Career Match)
Tag Team of the Year: Saints of Twilight
Wrestler of the Year: Shane Morbid
I hope 2009 can be just as exciting.
Somebody keep my seat warm
CMBurnham
